Thursday, 24 September 2009

High & Dry in Manhattan

This morning, as every morning, we wait on our floor for the lift
gazing at the giant green apples in a bowl on a table. I guess one day
we might pluck up the courage to take one out on our travels.
After breakfast we go on the uptown loop of our bus tour, past the
Dakota Building & Strawberry Fields, past the Grant Memorial (which is
the quietest tourist attraction in Manhattan, the one security guard
there had rigor mortis) up to Harlem. There we see the legendary
Apollo Theatre, Ray Charles & James Brown among the names who have
performed here. We finish our tour in Central Park East & I drink some
un-Ginger ale to cool down.
I'm not sure what the collective noun is for diplomatic vehicles so
for now I'll refer to them as an Immunity.

We make our way to the Roosevelt Island Tram and I enjoy stunning
views from a cable car. Not so comfortable with heights, Sue sits next
to someone who subjects her too a loud & smelly fart. There is not a
lot on Roosevelt Island apart from people with missing limbs, so after
a short photo oportunity we head back. It doesn't cost us a thing as
it's included on our 7 day Metro Card.
On our way back we pass the Sheridan Hotel which seems like the centre
of the mass immunity disturbance. Lots of Cops & onlookers all focused
on the hotel lobby, out walks a female African dignitory who looks
like she's been dressed by 5 paintball teams. Everyone is waiting to
see Bill Clinton, if we had a giant plastic Groucho Marx cigar we
would have too. The King is truly in the altogether.
Back at Columbus Circle, the Bike Rental hotspot of Manhattan, a
pavement Psychic shouts at a couple who aren't interested in her
services. Surely she knew they were going to walk past?
Outside our hotel we see someone who looks a dead ringer for Derek
Smalls, bass player for Spinal Tap. I'm so glad we didn't stick around
for the ex-president.
In the hotel lift we meet a woman who has forgotten which floor she is
staying on. "it's the one with green apples" We tell her to get off on
our floor only to find the bowl now has red apples. Her search
continues. Back in our room Sue remarks "you get a better class of
looney here."

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